We've all been there. You're standing in the middle of a before and after moment. The phone call you didn't want to answer. The diagnosis that didn't make sense. We all face moments when God doesn't feel good, when suffering causes us to question his heart and wonder if he has looked away. Today we're tackling that tension with truth and grace. We're asking the hard question, how do we hold on to his goodness when our circumstances are falling apart? Hi, I'm Crystal Storms, author and artist, coach and your companion on this journey to finding rest in Christ. Welcome to the Heart Rest Podcast, episode 40. If you're feeling weary, distracted, or just in need of a sacred pause, you're in the right place. Each episode we open God's word and our hearts to discover the peace that comes when we live closely connected to Jesus. Let's settle in and draw closer to his heart together. At the end of 2022, our family's world shifted. The doctor diagnosed my mother with lung cancer and gave her one year to live. In a strange way that year was a gift of mercy. We had time to explore treatment options, time for her to decide her own path, and most importantly, time to say goodbye. When hospice came in at the six month mark, the rhythm of our lives slowed down to the pace of presence. Six months after that, she passed quietly in the night. I was asleep right next to her bed. A peaceful, holy transition. I felt God's goodness and the preparedness of it all. But then, less than a month later, the rug was pulled out again. My parent Loreto passed away. Unlike my mother's journey, Loreto's end was a shock. Kidney disease and a tumor cut his life much shorter than we ever expected. I had prayed, I'd cleaned Bible verses, I'd believe for the best. Yet as I watched Loreto breathe his last, the peaceful transition I'd experienced with my mother felt miles away. I lay on the floor and cried out through tears, echoing the ancient words of Job. Though he slay me, yet will I trust him. It wasn't a polished spiritual response. It was a guttural choice. I knew that the only way I would survive the weight of this double grief was to anchor myself in the only thing that hadn't changed, the character of my Lord Jesus Christ. Maybe you aren't grieving a loss today, but perhaps you are grieving a dream, or maybe you're just exhausted from a season where nothing seems to be going right. It's easy to see God's goodness when the bank account is full, the kids are healthy, and the career is soaring. But what about the middle? What about when you are in the thick of the fire and you can't see the exit? We tend to measure God's goodness by our outcomes. We think if the outcome is good, then God is good. If the outcome is bad, then God must be distant, angry, or indifferent. We get stuck in a cycle of what did I do wrong or why me? But if God's goodness is tied to our circumstances, then his goodness is as unstable as the weather. We need a better anchor. To find rest in the storm, we have to look at how God describes himself. He doesn't define his goodness by our comfort. In Exodus 34, six, when God passed in front of Moses, he gave us a self-portrait. He didn't say, I am the God of perfect outcomes. He said, The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. This is his unchanging character. His goodness is essential. It is not something he does, it is who he is. In Hebrews thirteen, eight, we are reminded that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His goodness was the same on the day Lareto died as it was on the day my mother was born. His faithfulness is independent. God was good when Job lost his children, his livestock, and his health. Job's circumstances were horrific. Yet the goodness of God was the only thing that remained standing when the dust settled. The danger of misinterpretation. We often assume hardship is punishment, but scripture shows us some of God's most beloved children walked through the darkest valleys. Hardship isn't a sign of his absence. It's often the place where his presence becomes most tangible. So how do we actually do this? How do we root ourselves in his goodness when we feel like we're being blown away? Here are three practical heart rest steps for your weariness. One, practice the holy lament. God doesn't ask you to pretend you aren't hurting. The Psalms are nearly forty percent laments. To lament is to bring your why to God instead of running from him with it. Try this. Write a lament letter to God today. Tell him exactly what doesn't feel good. Then end the letter with Even though I don't see it, I choose to trust you are who you say you are. Two, conduct a goodness audit. When the present feels dark, we must use the light of the past to see. Try this. Look back at a hard season from five or ten years ago. Write down three ways he provided or comforted you in that fire. Use that hindsight as prophetic evidence for your current situation. Three, make an even if declaration. Like Job, we have to decide our bottom line before the crisis hits. Try this. Say it out loud right now. God, even if the news is bad, even if the healing doesn't come, even if I am tired, you were still good and I am still yours. This isn't ignoring the pain, it's positioning your soul above it. Imagine for a moment, what would it feel like to walk through your current struggle without the weight of why is God doing this to me? Imagine the rest that comes when you stop trying to fix your circumstances to prove God is good, and you instead let his goodness be the foundation you stand on while the storm rages. When we are rooted in his unchanging character, we become unshakable, not because we are strong, but because the one holding us is. You can face the Laredo moments of life, the sudden, the jarring, the unfair, and still find a soul deep peace because you know the heart maker is for you. If you carry one thought with you today, let it be this. God's goodness isn't a reaction to our circumstances, it is the foundation beneath them. And remember the words of Exodus thirty four, six. The Lord the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Take a moment to consider this. When have you seen God's goodness in hindsight after a hard season? And how can that memory strengthen your even if today? Thank you for joining me for episode 40 of the Heart Rest Podcast. My prayer is that today's encouragement about God's goodness, even in the middle of the not good, helps you find a deeper rhythm of rest. Remember, life may be complicated, but true rest comes when we keep first things first and release the rest into his hands. If you're walking through a season of grief or questioning, I've put some extra resources and the verses from today's episode over at crystalstorms.com. And if this episode spoke to your struggle or helped you breathe a little easier today, would you leave a review? It's a simple way to let others know they aren't alone in their questions. And if you know a friend who is in a tender tension right now, would you share this with her? As we close, I want to leave you with a quote from Lisa Turkhurst. God's goodness is not defined by our outcomes, but by his unchanging character. Until next time, may you rest close to his heart and live from his peace.